Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
