when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
