I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We had sex on a dog bed..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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