yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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