i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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