i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
