Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
