Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Let's paint friendship bongs
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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