Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
