His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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