and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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