Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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