hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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