How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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