Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
