the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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