So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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