I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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