I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
