It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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