When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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