I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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