gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize