used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
