im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
