Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
