we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
