Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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