how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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