Fuck appropriateness.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
