I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
