ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
