I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
