I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
COCAINE IS GR8
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
