just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
