i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
