how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize