cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
