I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize