Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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