I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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