Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
