I think im going to throw up on grandma
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize