Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My dick has a subreddit
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
