Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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