FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The feeling are messing with the penis
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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