Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
