My nipple is on Facebook.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
