i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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