well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize