Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
