I feel great
I just peed on a car
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
