We won't sleep together?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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