I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
