i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just gift wrapped bread.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
