there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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