me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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