I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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