I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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