Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
