Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
