you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
